Republicans Run For Cover After Trump’s G-7 Doral Announcement

Republicans Run For Cover After Trump’s G-7 Doral Announcement


WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE
SHOW”! I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT,
AND IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE BACK. FEELS GOOD TO BE HERE WITH THESE
GREAT PEOPLE. I’VE BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY. WAY OUT OF THE COUNTRY. NEW ZEALAND. OUT OF THE HEMISPHERE– BOTH OF
THEM. I HAVE BEEN AS FAR FROM THE
INSATIABLE BLACK HOLE OF NEWS THAT IS DONALD TRUMP AS YOU CAN
GET ON THIS PLANET. ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, I’VE HEARD THERE HAVE BEEN SOME DEVELOPMENTS OVER THE LAST
TEN DAYS THAT DID NOT GO SO WELL FOR DONNY, BUT TODAY, AT HIS
FIRST CABINET MEETING SINCE THE IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDINGS
BEGAN, HE INVITED IN THE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE PRESS AND
CALMLY EXPLAINED THAT THERE’S NOTHING FOR HIM TO BE CONCERNED
ABOUT, FOR 71 MINUTES. ( LAUGHTER )
71 MINUTES IS NOT A PRESS CONFERENCE. THAT’S A ONE MAN SHOW. ( LAUGHTER )
IF YOU LIKED “FLEABAG,” YOU’LL LOVE DONALD TRUMP IN
“DOUCHEBAG.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) THE FIRST THING TRUMP WAS JUST
FINE WITH WAS THE FIRESTORM HE IGNITED ON THURSDAY AFTER HE
ANNOUNCED THAT THE NEXT G-7 SUMMIT WOULD BE HELD AT THE
TRUMP NATIONAL DORAL GOLF RESORT. WOW. ( BOOING )
TAXPAYER MONEY BEING SPENT AT HIS OWN PLACE. THAT IS BALD SELF-DEALING. YOU’D HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT TO
DEFEND THAT. ENTER NORTH DAKOTA SENATOR KEVIN
CRAMER, WHO SAID, “IT MAY SEEM CARELESS POLITICALLY, BUT ON THE
OTHER HAND THERE’S TREMENDOUS INTEGRITY IN HIS BOLDNESS AND
HIS TRANSPARENCY.” YES, REFRESHING CANDOR. (AS TRUMP)
“HEY, IF I’M GOING TO GET IMPEACHED ANYWAY, IT’S
BUCKET-LIST TIME. THE G-7 IS AT DORAL, WE’RE
SERVING NOTHING BUT TRUMP STEAKS, IT’S B.Y.O. PORN STAR,
AND DON’T FORGET YOUR PISTOLS ‘CAUSE WE’RE HEADED TO 5TH
AVENUE.” BUT MOST REPUBLICANS FREAKED
OUT, RAN FOR COVER, CHANGED THEIR NAMES, AND FILED OFF THEIR
FINGERPRINTS. SO, SATURDAY, TRUMP ANNOUNCED
THAT HE WOULD NO LONGER BE USING DORAL FOR THE G-7, TWEETING, “I
THOUGHT I WAS DOING SOMETHING VERY GOOD FOR OUR COUNTRY BY
USING TRUMP NATIONAL DORAL, IN MIAMI, FOR HOSTING THE G-7
LEADERS. IT IS BIG, GRAND, ON HUNDREDS OF
ACRES, NEXT TO MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, HAS
TREMENDOUS BALLROOMS AND MEETING ROOMS, AND EACH DELEGATION WOULD
HAVE DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, ITS OWN 50-70
UNIT BUILDING. WOULD SET UP BETTER THAN OTHER
ALTERNATIVES.” WOW. EVEN TRUMP’S ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT
NOT USING HIS RESORT IS A COMMERCIAL FOR HIS RESORT. ( LAUGHTER )
(AS TRUMP) “I WOULD NEVER USE THE OFFICE OF
THE PRESIDENCY TO PROMOTE ONE OF MY OWN PROPERTIES, EVEN THE
ONE-OF-A-KIND, WORLD FAMOUS TRUMP DORAL. YOU KNOW OUR MOTTO: IT’S NOT
JUST UNBELIEVABLE, IT’S UNCONSTITUTIONAL.” ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TOTALLY WORTH IT. NOW, TODAY — TODAY — TODAY,
TRUMP CONTINUED TO DEFEND THE THING HE’S NOT GOING TO DO.>>DORAL WAS A VERY SIMPLE
SITUATION. I OWN A PROPERTY IN FLORIDA. I WAS GOING TO DO IT AT NO COST
OR GIVE IT FREE.>>STEPHEN: NO, YOU WEREN’T
( LAUGHTER ) BULL DOOKIE! YOU’VE NEVER GIVEN ANYTHING
AWAY FOR FREE. FOR PETE’S SAKE, THE TRUMP
CHARITABLE FOUNDATION WAS SHUT DOWN BY NEW YORK STATE BECAUSE
IT WAS A CHECKBOOK TO SERVE YOUR BUSINESS AND POLITICAL
INTERESTS. (AS TRUMP)
“I DON’T RUN FOR THE CURE. THE CURE RUNS FOR ME.” ( LAUGHTER )
BESIDES, HOLDING THE G-7 AT YOUR PROPERTY IS FREE ADVERTISING. BUT TRUMP INSISTS HE DOESN’T
NEED THAT.>>DEMOCRATS WENT CRAZY, EVEN
THOUGH I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR FREE. SAVED THE COUNTRY A LOT OF
MONEY. THEN THEY SAY, “OH, BUT
YOU WILL GET PROMOTION.” WHO CARES? YOU DON’T THINK I GET ENOUGH
PROMOTION? I GET MORE
PROMOTION THAN ANY HUMAN BEING THAT HAS EVER LIVED, I THINK I
CAN SAY THAT FAIRLY SAFELY. I GET MORE PROMOTION THAN ANY
HUMAN BEING THAT HAS EVER LIVED.>>STEPHEN: (AS TRUMP)
“ANYONE WHO’S EVER LIVED YIP TIME IN HISTORY. I’M BIGGER THAN JESUS. AND I HAVE WAY MORE HOTELS. SERIOUSLY, THAT GUY CAN’T EVEN
GET INTO AN INN.” ( LAUGHTER )
>>Jon: COME ON, NOW.>>Stephen: “NO MINT ON THE
MANGER FOR THIS GUY.” ( LAUGHTER )
THEN TRUMP FINALLY STOPPED TALKING ABOUT HIS RESORT AND
ADDRESSED THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE OF THE DAY: HOW GREAT HE
IS.>>I’M VERY GOOD AT REAL ESTATE. VERY, VERY GOOD. MUCH BETTER THAN YOU EVEN
UNDERSTAND. WHEN YOU SEE MY FINANCIALS,
WHICH I WILL GIVE AT THE RIGHT TIME, YOU WILL SAY, “MAN, HE WAS
MUCH BETTER THAN WE THOUGHT.” THIS GUY KNOWS RIGHT HERE,
MNUCHIN, BECAUSE HE WAS IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR. HE KNOWS VERY MUCH WHAT I HAVE.>>STEPHEN: (AS MNUCHIN)
“YEAH, BOSS, SO GOOD. YOU’RE SO GOOD AT BUSINESS. THAT’S WHY WE’RE NOT RELEASING
YOUR TAXES, RIGHT? BECAUSE THAT’S WHY
WE HAD THEM SEALED IN TITANIUM CAPSULES AND FIRED INTO THE
HEART OF THE SUN. SO PEOPLE WOULDN’T BE TOO
IMPRESSED BY THEM, IS THAT THE RIGHT ANSWER?”
( LAUGHTER ) THEN TRUMP POINTED OUT HE SHOULD
HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO VIOLATE THE CONSTITUTION BECAUSE, HE
CLAIMED, OTHER PRESIDENTS HAD.>>I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW
GEORGE WASHINGTON, HE RAN HIS BUSINESS SIMULTANEOUSLY WHILE HE
WAS PRESIDENT. GEORGE WASHINGTON, THEY SAY, HAD
TWO DESKS, HE HAD A PRESIDENTIAL DESK AND A BUSINESS DESK.>>STEPHEN: (AS TRUMP)
“TALK ABOUT SELF-DEALING. WASHINGTON — NOT EVERYBODY
KNOWS THIS — WASHINGTON PUT HIS PICTURE ON
EVERY DOLLAR. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE ROYALTIES?”
DADDY GOT HIS BEAK WET ON EVERY DOLLAR, NOT MUCH, BUT IT ADDS
UP. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TRUMP WAS FURIOUS! FURIOUS! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SO THE G7 WILL NOW NOT BE AT DORAL NATIONAL, AND THAT GIVES
TRUMP A SAD –>>IT WAS SO GOOD, FLORIDA LOVED
IT. THEY LOVED THE ECONOMIC
DEVELOPMENT. IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE, IT IS
NEW, IT HAS BEEN TOTALLY REBUILT. EVERYTHING’S GOOD. GOT MASSIVE MEETING ROOMS. UNLIMITED FOR SECURITY, BECAUSE
IT IS ON HUNDREDS OF ACRES. RIGHT NEXT TO MIAMI AIRPORT, ONE
OF THE BIGGEST AIRPORTS IN THE WORLD, SOME PEOPLE SAY IT IS THE
BIGGEST. BUT ONE OF THE BIGGEST AIRPORTS
IN THE WORLD. IT’S ONLY MINUTES AWAY.>>STEPHEN: HAS TRUMP EVER BEEN
TO MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT? ( LAUGHTER )
I HAVE AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY’RE PULLING
THE TROOPS OUT OF SYRIA BECAUSE THEY’RE NEEDED TO QUELL A RIOT
AT THE AUNTIE ANNE’S IN TERMINAL C.

100 thoughts on “Republicans Run For Cover After Trump’s G-7 Doral Announcement

  1. "more promotions than other human being in history…" uhm, yep, sociopath, or psycho, plain idiot at least. Please can we move on from this nonsense by now.

  2. Wait did he just admit on television that he’s not divested from his financial interests? Because he said “his” property…not “my family’s.”

  3. Government: Double taxation is illegal. Citizens: I've paid my car and home tax 10 years in a row! GET THE PICTURE!

  4. Your Steve Mnuchin imitation is so fucking funny. I lose control. It's beyond brilliant. Thank you, Steve Colbert.

  5. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Bug Bunny. Washington was a landowner and farmer. Trumps need all the help advertising his properties because they're all running in the red.

  6. that is some greed right there. he's charging security and guest full price to stay at his hotels. he wanted to milk the US citizens for the cost of guest bills. who does this man talk to? i live in florida and i damn sure didnt like it. and you can bet no one in Miami liked the idea of him darkening their doorstep or neighborhood. how about this. if trump wants to spend our money why not go to one of the hurricane ravaged areas and launder money into those area hotels. this way he can make up for the disaster relief aide he should have signed off on.

  7. Trump's INSANE airport claim in perspective;

    Miami International covers 13,35 square km. Or 1335 hectares. Or 3300 acres.

    Denver International (biggest in north america) covers 136 square km. Or 13600 hectares. Or 33600 acres.

    King Fahd International Saudi Arabia (worlds biggest by Guiness) covers 780 square km. Or 78000 hectares. Or 193000 acres.

    King Fahd is about 6 times bigger than the US biggest airport. And about 59 times bigger than Miami International.

    Make sure to mention the bed bug problems in your state funded advertising. Oh and show your financials you broke, sad, wannabe gangster.

  8. Do Trump supporters realize how stupid he makes them look yet? Trump supporters need to start looking for a new place to live.

  9. Trump Doral resort settles with guest who sued over bedbug …
    https://www.miamiherald.com › jose-lambiet › article129651494

    Jan 30, 2017

    White smoke over President Donald Trump’s Trump National Doral Miami golf resort! The scandal of the luxury …

  10. you know sometimes i feel like trump just doesn't understand WHY what he does is problematic. it might just be that someone with literally 0 experience in politics isn't quite familiar with all the subtle do's and don'ts of international relations and WHY you can't just be a corrupt businessman as president of the US……
    just a hypothesis….
    10$ say he literally didn't know that what he was doing was wrong when he asked ukraine for dirt.

  11. You should have announced you were in NZ , i would flown over from Australia and smashed the shit out you . I'd love any chance to meet you even live ! I here you lost 30% of your viewers this year , LOL !

  12. The “stable genius” who considers himself, “the smartest, richest, very best” at everything also wins the prize for most out-of-touch, delusional human being to ever live.

  13. Can you just imagine being held hostage in a room and having him speaking gibberish and self aggrandising for 70 mins. I would shoot myself!

  14. R U nuts ? No firestorm in Florida lol. This is Trump country. Yes we have corrupt commie Democrat elections officials in South florida but we are working on that. Ready by 2020..😀

  15. In regards to the whole "I don't need promotion, I'm already promoted" line:
    1. Colbert nailed it with bringing up Jesus. The religious are being given countless signs to stop supporting, but they're either blindly Republican or lying hypocrites.
    2. So… big brands like Coke and Pepsi, Dell and Microsoft, Verizon and AT&T, etc, etc, etc… these companies are wasting money on ads? Everyone knows they exist already, therefore they don't need any sort of promotions ever again? Logic…

  16. Who the hell said Florida loves it? Everyone I have talked to in West Palm hates him. I can't imagine what he would do to people in Doral, a city with double the traffic and narrowed streets.

  17. Not Stevens fault that he can’t talk about the endless wars. If he was allowed to talk about them, maybe we could hear about something besides Trump every single goddamned night!

  18. I'm just wondering… who the fuck are these people that laugh when the orange dotard gets on his diatribes? Are they reporters? Do they think this is funny? I mean… Stephen's and other comedians' takes on the absurdity of it all is definitely funny, but when this idiocy is happening live in front of you, I don't think this is an adequate response. I would never be able to listen for more than 10 seconds of any of the stupid things this man says. I would stop him there and tell him to shut up his disgusting mouth. If you don't call out the idiots right there, in the moment they're being idiots, you're being complacent, an enabler of the breakdown of modern civilization. This piece of shit should not get any affirmation from us, normal people. Whoever the fuck these people are, someone in their families should tell them to grow some metaphorical balls.

  19. Get ready. Senate Republicans have to endorse foreign influence in U S Elections to save Trump. China,Russia ready to pounce. Learn a new language.

  20. Drumpf doesn't do ANYTHING for free! But he expects other people to work for free for him! Witness how he has filed bankruptcy several times. He gets people to do his work and then drops them like a hot potato so he isn't "out" any money. He is one of the cheapest persons on the planet!

  21. Impeachment or not, Republican or Democrat… none of that really matter, it's all about a lying President that thinks he is above the law. How many americans can keep voting on someone doing that..? Stop fooling yourself, Donal Trump is, and will always be very bad news for most people in USA (99%)… and the rest of the world (100%) … he's brain can't actually been working at all

  22. I think people are honestly starting to take the jokes he is making seriously. May I remind everyone that Donald Trump is the President of the United States of America. You are allowed to make a few jokes about him and he is doing that but what some people are doing is literally insulting him. Trump literally took part in a lot of jokes himself and went on to a lot of shows yet now you people think you can use that against him? Get real Libtards he is going to win again in 2020.

    However, I sadly cannot be like you retards. He obviously has a few cons with him being president but that is nothing compared to what he has done for our country. Unlike you, I will accept the truth and not silence it like ANTIFA which I bet you are all apart of. The only difference is that I actually did research.

    Here is what I predict you to say in response:
    1 – He is racist (Wrong, obviously. I guess you just believed that the first time you heard someone mention it)
    2 – He loves Russia and doesn't care about America (So wrong that he literally used it as a reason to investigate the Democratic Party)
    3 – He is the Worst President Ever (?)
    4 – He is stupid (How did he become President then)
    5 – He is not doing anything he said he would (He did everything he said he would)
    6 – He is building a wall (Yeah probably I don't know why he actually did that)
    7 – He is wasting our money (He accepted to be paid literally nothing to be president. That means he isn't being paid for being the President. All the money he earned form being President was given back to the country in some way)
    8 – He talks like he is stupid and sounds dumb (He talks like someone from 1970s New York. Seriously though did you actually think for a second)
    9 – He is sexist (No he isn't. He literally gave women and other minorities more jobs during his presidency)
    10 – He is wasting our time with the trade war and losing to China (We are winning against China)
    11 – He is costing our country thousands. (No he isn't he actually increased our GDP and made more jobs)

    Oh and by the way all the Democratic Party candidates are terrible and their ideas will put our country into way more debt that Trump could ever do.
    Seriously? Free Health Care? These idiots that can survive on their own may as well die. I'm not paying for someone who could die at any moment. What could they possibly do for our country if they can't even live without daily pills and operations? Now imagine what will happen to all those healthy families on the verge of poverty in the USA when Berney Sanders. They are now in debt because they are being forced to pay for the medication of another person.

  23. There is a solid difference between a Republican and a Trump supporter just letting most of you know 😂 don't link us with that shitter

  24. Collusion with foreign governments for a national election.
    You mean like when Hillary took millions in campaign donations from no less than 25 foreign countries??
    Only reason she's not in jail is because Obama's shadow government has been protecting her.

  25. No, Trump’s not entirely stupid, he’s just the biggest egomaniacs to ever live. In a way, I’d feel sorry for him if he wasn’t doing so much damage. What a shallow individual. It’s pathetic. The only thing that surprises me about him is that he’s not constructing some enormous tomb/temple complex for his eternal worship like an emperor or pharaoh, but in a way that’s exactly what he’s doing by having his name in big gold letters all over the place. I stand corrected. Just wait for the giant statue, it’s coming. Mark my words.

  26. People should laugh loudly when Trump say dumb stuff. It's a joke that no one does it… ANYONE can be a president of America, Trump the idiot proves it…

  27. Why in God's name does the captioning on the news coverage read: "Pres. Trump… comes as he faces questions over his Syria troop plan & as West Wing feud simmers"? "Comes"? Really? Eeeewwww. TMI.

  28. Stephen Colbert is a kissass democrat .CNN and MSNBC own his ass.Trump is laughing his ass off.Trump 2020 no problem.ha ha ha .Colbert knows it s true.

  29. How is he paying for all this? He's supposed to not having anything to do with his corporations, and wouldn't be making 'that' kind of money as president to give the money away to that sort of thing.

  30. This comment board sound like a bunch of bitter critters
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rns_n82HiMo&list=OLAK5uy_nG0R7GxWTXwhsxxi_cwx8QwZe0QI1tED8&index=11

  31. How did Trump make it through junior high? He apparently didn't pay any attention in American history. And has apparently never revisited the constitution. Don't they not have picture books to explain the constitution to him in a way he an understand? Why are Republicans allowing him to shit all over our constitution? Does the emoluments clause not mean anything to these treasonous bastards. I just wonder if they will prosecute republicans who are not holding trump accountable, much in the same way they have been prosecuting Nazi soldiers and German officials who supported Hitler. Maybe all of these spineless senators will face some prison time for their failures to uphold our constitution, our laws, human rights and for failing our citizens.

  32. 71 minutes was my stepfather berating us for being stupid and lazy because there was a speck of dust behind the bookcase. Heaven forefend…

  33. "I get more promotion than any body in history. Alexander the Great? Not that Great! I… probably could do what he did, even with bone spurs"

  34. It's hilarious that the shambling mound of BS masquerading as a man can't tell when others are BSing him with "Oh yeah, Washington was just like you" statements.

  35. Abort a trump is after us abort
    Run run run run run my good friend
    Run run before I get attacked and I also get attacked

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