Tech Companies Are Hit Hard by Trump’s US-China Trade War

Tech Companies Are Hit Hard by Trump’s US-China Trade War

-We’ve got a fun show tonight. Dakota Johnson
is my guest tonight! [ Cheers and applause ] Jon Lovitz is stopping by!
I love Jon Lovitz! And Post Malone is here! [ Cheers and applause ] Actually,
in honor of Post Malone, everyone in tonight’s audience
is going home with a face tattoo.
There you go. There you go. Good for you.
Absolutely. Let’s get to some news here. The economy is having
a pretty wild week. Thanks to our trade war
with China, stocks have been up and down. I saw that Apple lost
almost $50 billion. Then every customer
with a missing AirPod was like, “Sucks losing something,
doesn’t it? Yeah.” All the big tech companies like Amazon, Apple, Facebook
got hit hard, and you can tell
their CEOs are depressed. Last night, Jeff Bezos got drunk and ordered a bunch of crap
off Amazon. Tim Cook whispered to Siri,
“Hold me.” And Mark Zuckerberg poked
himself just to feel something. It’s just — But it’s not good.
The Dow Jones took a huge dive. And it hasn’t fully recovered. -[ Chuckles ] Love it.
Saw that, too. I totally understand all this — -What were you laughing at?
I wasn’t even telling a joke. -Super funny. I got it.
‘Cause I get finance. I love it. That joke was great.
[ Laughs ] -I wasn’t even telling a joke. I was just saying that stocks
are all over the place. And it’s because China
devalued its currency to its lowest level in 10 years. -[ Laughs ] Devalued currency.
Those are words I understand. I totally get it. Ha-ha!
-Higgins, what are you doing? -Just letting you know. It’s money, business, stocks.
I know it. I know it all. Super funny. I love it. I know it. Ask me anything.
I know it all. -Okay, fine.
What is the Dow Jones? -That’s Tommy Lee Jones’
brother. [ Laughter ] -What’s a liquid asset? -That’s when you eat
too much Indian food. [ Cheers and applause ] -What’s the NASDAQ? -NASDAQ? That’s that duck
that sells insurance. -Higgins, that is —
that is Aflac. -Gesundheit.
-All right. That’s enough. It’s time to move on. Okay?
-Wait, wait, wait, please. -What?
-It might surprise you guys that I don’t get any of the stuff
about the stock market at all. -That doesn’t surprise
any of us. -Stocks are up, they’re down.
Which way is good? I don’t even know.
I have so many questions. -Up. Up is good.
What are you talking about? -What? Well, ta–
What about taxes? One thing I know about taxes is you have to only pay them
in years that end with “3.” -Higgins, no, that’s — Higgins, you have to pay them
every year. -What? I got to get out of here. O.J.?
-No. Why would you — [ Cheers and applause ] Here’s some news
about the President. I can’t believe this
hadn’t happened already. But in a tweet this morning,
Trump misspelled his own name. Take a look.
He wrote, “Donald Ttump.” [ Laughter ] Donald Ttump. When Don Jr. saw that,
he was like, “I can’t believe I’ve been spelling it wrong
this whole time. Oh, my gosh.” Meanwhile, when staffers told
Trump he misspelled his name, he tweeted this, “Sorry.
I meant to say Ddnald Ttump.” Some news from Washington.
I saw that right now the House and Senate
are now on summer recess. And a few members of Congress
have released statements about how they’re spending
their free time. For example,
Representative Don Bacon said, “I love recess.
I wake up every morning and make myself a plate of
crispy — well, my last name.” Up next, Dan Newhouse said, “It’s good to have
this time off. Because my wife and I are in
the middle of trying to buy a — well, my last name.” After that, Susan Wild was like,
“Me and the girls are headed to Vegas, where we’re gonna
chug margs and get friggin’ — well, my last name.” And finally, Ted Budd said,
“I’m kicking it on the beach and lighting up
some dank, dank — well, my last name.” These are real quotes. -Real from real people.
-I believe so. -They really said that.
-Some celebrity news. Kylie Jenner’s birthday
is this week. And to celebrate,
I saw that Travis Scott filled their whole house
with roses. Check this out. Kylie was like, “Aww.” While her Roomba was like,
“Drop me in the tub.” [ Laughter ] The Roomba said —
-The Roomba — What did he say? What did he say again? -He said, “Drop me in the tub.” Speaking of roses… [ Laughter ]
-He was done. He’d had it. -Speaking of roses,
last night’s episode of “Bachelor in Paradise”
was pretty awesome. I mean, we got reintroduced to a fan favorite named
John Paul Jones. And at one point, he was
chatting with one of the girls. And he got a little distracted.
Take a look. -You were ready to, like —
-Ready to find my dude? Totally. -Oh, is that a crab?
Oh, come here. -Usually when you hear
“Is that a crab,” it’s in the Fantasy Suite.
You guys, we have a great show.

53 thoughts on “Tech Companies Are Hit Hard by Trump’s US-China Trade War

  1. ME : Why Dont You "RUN" for Prez Election"20??


  2. TRUMP 2020. He is the best…. no matter how hard the bought off globalists try to smear him, he will always fight for Americans first!!!

  3. The cold war never ended but now it is about the economic power and trump is making it hard for the American people to succeed.

  4. you dumbos should realize why this trade war is happening to begin with, seems like you lot have big problems in understanding things

  5. Yeah because Big Tech is in China’s pocket and are enemies of the American people. I have no problem with Apple and Google going down in flames. They are both anti-American and deserve everything that’s about to happen to them. Solution? BRING YOUR JOBS BACK TO THE UNITED STATES AND HIRE AMERICANS. They are greedy and don’t want to pay Americans a living wage so they send their jobs to countries where they can pay workers one dollar per day and a bowl of rice. Screw big tech, let them burn.

  6. Nothing about the mass shoothing, wow some medias are really sleeping, I'm from Europe and I am wondering.

  7. USA looooooooooooooooves WAR .. The bigger the better, the warmer the better, the colder the better .. JUST WAR! Its temperature is absolutely not important! USA QQ BANG TWICE LAND

  8. Tweeted: Microeconomics l0l by Higgins (We really need to fix our Macroeconomics after this)

  9. The US government should buy up surplus soy beans and other beans and grains from US farmers. China has more food in long term storage than most of the rest of the world combined, as if China anticipates WW3 or imminent food shortages. The US should store surplus food in long term packaging. Many beans and grains can store for over 30 years if properly packaged in Mylar bags or #10 cans. Food stored in typical retail plastic and paper boxes only keep for a few years, at most. The US Government should stockpile long term storage of beans and grains, and other food like sugar and soy protein powder for strategic and emergency uses, and also encourage citizens to do the same. Today, China is the biggest 'prepper' on earth, so US should also factor in long term food storage into the new cold war with China. US must prepare for the expected population explosion in the third world, and the effects of global warming on agriculture, and store up food now, while it is cheap.

  10. China is now not buying any agricultural products from us. And Trump will spend billions more of taxpayer money to bail them out, because of his effed up policies.

  11. Donald Trump, knows very well, how to treat Chinese bastards. Cut them off from all business. Western, for western and Communist for Communist.

  12. Apple is affected but that is all. The rest are just flush with money and power and communist Democrat enabling.

  13. the tech companies are losing money ? my heart bleeds purple piss for them..especially Bezos…may he break out with huge boils !

  14. After all the emegrant arrest at different companies and the terriffs and all the shootings. If Trump wins again. We will 100 percent know the election was hacked!

  15. Yet nobody seems to mention that Trump china tariff announcements have been the day after AAPL earnings……2 quarters in a row. Trump market manipulator.

  16. USA keep going

    and seriously all american media is against trump..
    you make big fuss of small things..

    look here
    porkistan-we will nuke INDIA.
    INDIA-gives a $ to buy fuel for rockets…

  17. Trump works for his bosses getting the most money with least cost. It doesn't matter what happens to us. What matters is the super rich one tenth of one percent control all the money, jobs, politicians, and keep us going to work so we make more crap to buy that we don't need. What a scam, all that they need to do is keep Americans divided and they'll never lose their jobs. It's exactly how Russia works. America and Russia are both oligarchies run by the super rich

  18. The Cure for all this is
    Bernie Sanders on 2020
    Stocks will go UP
    Tech companies will surge
    The economy will celebrate
    And so will America

  19. GDP is improving with Trump and that is why we need him to win again.

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